Musings and Ramblings

Mother Nature lies.
I’m looking out my window right now, looking at a gloriously blue sky and some of the most dazzling sunlight I’ve ever see. It’s a wopping 20 some odd degrees outside. I know if I went outside right now I would probably freeze my skinny ass off. I fucking hate winter.

What’s up with me? Today is kind of a day off for me. Tomorrow I have my Unix class, and last night I dealt with Accounting 1. Today is the let down day, the day I actually try to accomplish stuff.

Why continue?
Most of the time I don’t know why I bother doing a lot of things. It seems to me that a lot of the reason that people keep living is simply force of habit. On my contemplative days, I often wonder how many people are living dead, and just never realize it.

Nobody Home?
The other thing I notice is the increasing number of people who meet your eyes these days, and when you look inside, you realize that there is absolutely no one home there. The number of people existing who look at everyone as if they were furniture in their sociopathic world frightens me to the core. I don’t like being around them. Their very proximity makes me feel like a deer in the headlights. The worst part of it is that unless you shut yourself up in your house and never leave, you cannot escape dealing with them.

Rationalism, Conspiracies, and life in the 21st Century
Another thing I have noticed is what I call the assault on rationalism. As science advances, and more and more flights of fancy are shredded in the cold eye of scientific inquiry, people are more in more in revolt against this. They deal with it in one of two ways: Either they turn to some time of rejectionism of common sense (aka the resurgence of creationism for one) or else they start seeing hidden movers behind everything.

As fancy and fantasy recede, people forget that random things still happen. People have begun turning to conspiracies as a way to explain things. It helps people to survive I think, a conspiracy can at least be drug out and revealed. People can at least have the illusion of taking control of their lives again. What helps give the conspiracy theorist their validation is that there is a whole hell of a lot of things going on behind the scenes, that most people never have a chance to drag out of the shadows. Quite frankly, a whole fuck of a lot of things are going on in the shadows, and most people just see the edges of them in passing. I keep thinking of the commentary of David Lynch on one of his movies: “The Hardy Boys go To Hell, you lift up the corner of the scenary and you descend into a world you can’t even comprehend.

One of the things that most people unconsciously realize is that we don’t have control of their lives anymore. Most people are simply laboring to survive to unbury themselves from a mountain of debt, or desperately trying to get themselves into a position where they can attain a mountain of debt. The worst part is that, more than likely, there is no solution to it. However, it helps for people to have something to cast blaim on. That way they can avoid the realization that most of us have done it to ourselves.

Okay enough of the depressing philosophical shit.


~ by maximkovalenko on January 30, 2003.

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