It’s amazing what can change your mood, and it’s strange what you can learn about yourself.

I almost had to shoot someone today.

One of our neighbors in the apartment building I live in now tried to kick out the gentleman who she had let crash there for a little bit. 

Said gentleman got a bit on the irate side, grabbed a butcher knife and started going ape shit.  Me and my dad were crashed out in the living room when we heard her scream for my dad…we looked at each other…and then not 5 seconds later she yelled again.

My dad was halfway to the connecting hallway when he told me to grab my gun.

We came into find her backed into a corner by her former couch user with a 12 inch butcher knife in hand.

My father, always the diplomat said “Drop the blade you motherfucker.”

This guy then started babbling something that I couldn’t make out in a two cartons of cigarettes a day voice. And started sidling towards the lady who yelled.   Right about that time my Dad said “show him.”

I drew and held it pointed at the ceiling.  He stopped and looked at me for a second, and started moving slowly to the lady who had yelled again.  Within the next second the safety was off, the gun was on full cock and I was locked on center mass.

And still the stupid motherfucker kept trying to move.  I kept thinking of “New Gold Dream”  and little Umya, ya know?  The line “Please no more of the stupid today” seemed so appropriate.

That’s what really just staggers me.  I’m ten feet from him, full cock, locked on his fucking head with a Walther PPK, I’ve run out of slack on the fucking trigger and still the stupid motherfucker is trying to move in this slow broken kneed turtle creep…. And he still has the butcher knife in his hand.
In the end it was only this yo yo hearing the police being called on the phone the lady had grabbed, and hearing them say to stop fucking moving before things settled down.

Before the police got there and got him out of there…god damn, man.  I had made up my mind to shoot, I had consciously made up my mind to pull the trigger when he hit the molding around a doorway.  I was locking my wrist and doing the last check of what was behind him before the taking the shot. I’m not jumpy, I’m not sick.  There was just this slight nerve thrum, the good kind of nerve thrum.  And I know that people were talking and moving behind me and in the background and shit but everything seemed so fucking quiet and everything seemed so fucking slow.

It’s amazing what you learn about yourself at times.  And as crazy as it sounds…my mood is better now than it has been in months.  As fucked up as it sounds,  knowing that I would have been able to do something if the wheels came off helped me more than a whole hell of a lot of things had in the last half year.  For a couple of seconds at least I knew that while everything had went to shit in one way, shape or form…when I needed it, I could still do it.

Like I said, it’s fucked up what you learn about yourself at times.

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~ by maximkovalenko on November 10, 2006.

13 Responses to “It’s amazing what can change your mood, and it’s strange what you can learn about yourself.”

  1. Responding on line….via aim.
    Hugs.
    N.

  2. woah, billy bad ass! hahaha! what a stroke of luck that the door to your neighbor’s place happened to be open, i shudder to think what might have happened if you hadn’t shown up to save the day. jebus. what happened anyway? i assume the nutjob was arrested?

  3. No. He wasn’t arrested. The cops hailed a bus, put him on it, and sent him on his way. That is the thing I find the most incredible about this whole thing…the guy didn’t even get arrested.

    The stupid fuck still had the butcher knife on him when the cops got there…and they still send him on his merry way.

  4. No. He wasn’t arrested. The cops hailed a bus, put him on it, and sent him on his way. That is the thing I find the most incredible about this whole thing…the guy didn’t even get arrested.

    The stupid fuck still had the butcher knife on him when the cops got there…and they still send him on his merry way.

  5. well that goes a long way to reassure me, yet again, that the ‘justice system’ in this area is fundamentally fuckered up. don’t even get me started, man.

    at the very least the neighbor woman should get a protective order, so if he shows up again they’ll have to arrest him for invasion of privacy, at least. it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.

  6. well that goes a long way to reassure me, yet again, that the ‘justice system’ in this area is fundamentally fuckered up. don’t even get me started, man.

    at the very least the neighbor woman should get a protective order, so if he shows up again they’ll have to arrest him for invasion of privacy, at least. it’s not much, but it’s better than nothing.

  7. Another funny one on this…

    Yesterday the guy returned with a police escort to retrieve the property he still had on premises. This time while he was getting his stuff, the police officer who accompanied him inside had his weapon out and ready the whole time.

    I guess they hadn’t figured out that the person with the gun was the next door neighbor, huh? 😉

  8. they didn’t take your gun when they came the first time? usually they do that shit, to “investigate” or whatever, and it takes FOREVER to get it back. my girl actually got hers back last friday from some craziness that happened back in JULY, dude. they kept it that whole time. what’s awful is she got it back on friday and got it stolen on saturday. it was madness.

  9. they didn’t take your gun when they came the first time? usually they do that shit, to “investigate” or whatever, and it takes FOREVER to get it back. my girl actually got hers back last friday from some craziness that happened back in JULY, dude. they kept it that whole time. what’s awful is she got it back on friday and got it stolen on saturday. it was madness.

  10. They didn’t take my gun at all. Hell, they didn’t even look for it.

  11. They didn’t take my gun at all. Hell, they didn’t even look for it.

  12. An addendum to this whole situation…

    The guy who came by with this butcher knife waving asshole and had his gun out the whole time? He also was a bit of a dick to my dad that same night when he thought our apartment was the negihbors…well a suspect tried to kill him a couple of days ago….and he shot the guy. The officer (and my dad swears it was the same guy) was Jason King. SBPD

  13. An addendum to this whole situation…

    The guy who came by with this butcher knife waving asshole and had his gun out the whole time? He also was a bit of a dick to my dad that same night when he thought our apartment was the negihbors…well a suspect tried to kill him a couple of days ago….and he shot the guy. The officer (and my dad swears it was the same guy) was Jason King. SBPD

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